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Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Birth Story
At ultrascan, liris was 3.1kg and finally headdown at 37weeks1day, not daring to take the risk for csec in case he breech again as he had actually head down and breech at a later part.. I also expected him to be as big as rislin or even bigger as they said that usually second baby is bigger..and as usual my fear for csec for a big baby as I'm petite.
So we fixed a day for his induction at 37weeks4days if I didn't remember wrongly..on the day of induction at 8.09.10 I brought rislin alone with me to dr Ang..
As my cervix was opened and I'm 2cm dilated, dr Ang "opened up" my cervix naturally, I don't know how he did it.. And after about a hour walking around the shopping center as I wanted to buy the final necessaries needed..
I started feeling slight cramp, almost went superwoman as i thought of taking mrt back but thinking of bringing rislin, play safe sit cab..almost became so garang to sit mrt from sembawang to tiong bahru..
In the cab I started to feel the cramps more and more intense. When the cab reached home I could barely walk out with rislin in tow.. I reached home and rolled in bed while crunching on ice as it helps relieve the pain for about two hoursplus till my mum and my husband reached home.. After leaving rislin with my mum, my husband and me cab to thomson medical hospital immediately..
My husband told me that my face was very very pale and I seemed like in alot of pain.. I was like nonsense.. Wait till you can give birth till you let me know.and the worst part was there was jam!!
I was wheeled to the delivery ward after admission and I was 2cm dilated and it remained 2cm dilated for very long.. I vomited for 3-4times as the contractions was painful.. When it got pass my pain thrashold limit I will vomit!
Few hours later dr Ang came to check on me and burst my waterbag.. Another about 2hrs later as my contractions were not intense enough I was placed on drips..after the drip it was hell..
I regreted taking the drip.. It made my contractions much tougher to take.. I could bear with the contractions initially and even with rislin I had a drug free birth!
Each contraction came I literally fly from the bed by "banging" myself on the bed and the nurses were so afraid that I fall down from bed.. and the nurse keep telling me to take the laughing gas as i was vomiting so much.. When the contraction was very intense, i dont know why i said it though but i said " I dont want to do this anymore".. And the nurse was very rude and replied" Then how? Dont give birth lor" .. wow what a great attitude.. And i regret having the drips i keep saying, take out the drip, take out the drip, i will be responsible to the gynae. But they just REFUSE to take out.. so is a patient`s word "useless"?
In the end I cave in to the nagging of the nurse by using the gas mask. It helped me intially, but later on it made me very very sleepy and I drifted in and out of sleep.and it still can't do.. With the nurse and my husband nagging again I took the thighs jab
Not long I was feeling the pain with full blast but I was so "weak" by the gas mask that I'm unable to move or talk or respond to their talking or even a simple scream in pain..
Suddenly I felt the urge to push and started pushing on my own with all my strength/might.. With just 1-2push woosh came liris! With a tiny episotomy.But thanks to the gas I'm too tired and sleepy to even look at liris cause I can't even move or talk or even open my eyes..I can hear what they say etc but I'm just too weak to respond, it felt like a soul and a body seperated experience, to be frank i'm rather traumatised by this labour cause of the drugs.
But my husband video and told me that liris once came out he kept looking around the whole time haha..but I was suprised that he came out at only 2.7kg. And im rather upset that im unable to open my eyes to see him when he came out.
I got wheeled to the day surgery bedroom as the wards are all full and don't even have space for one bedded.. There's about 8 bed there.. I had to kept bugging the incharge there for my baby as there were so many babies there that they didn't push to me.. And of the 8bedded plus they said that midnight cannot push baby..
The in charge was rather nice as she called up the nursery, they refused to bring the baby down. As if i can choose NOT to stay in 8bedded.What nonsenses! And hes a fully breastfeed baby.
Finally the incharge spoke to the supervisor about it and about 3-5hrs later I finally managed to get him.. The next 4 hours they did not wheel him to me and I had to bug them again.. I really hate it that I need to keep bugging them.. It made my stay very tiring cause almost every few hours i have to ask for my baby worried that he is hungry!
And 8bedded was really crowded plus noisy that I can't get any rest. I feel really stress there and at the noon while they are allocating bed to the csec patients as priority and dr Ang told me that I can go home if I Want to and money wise it's more worth it plus there is so crowded..
As I was informed by him that I'm paying 4bedded for a 8bedded.. I wanted to go home so bad, I missed rislin and I really felt very stress and tired there..plus liris was so tiny I actually had seriously depression for few days as he was so tiny and skinny.
I called my mum happily and told her I'm Coming home and instead of hearing a happy her. I was in for a suprise, a bad suprise.. She forced me to stay at there although it's 8 bedded, I won't elaborate the details we spoke about but she said she wanted to rest more.. I was so upset that I burst into tears and screamed into the phone "I hate it here, you're always so selfish"..and started sobbing even more
To cut things short,I think the manager heard it plus my husband said that I didn't want to stay on but my mum forced me to..although she told me that only 4bedded available I was allocated to a 2bedded, and while wheeling me there she kept rubbing my shoulders.. I think I must have looked so miserable as they also gave me a free huggies starter kit pack saying they apologise for the inconvinence of shifting here and there! When I told dr Ang about it, he said I should have shout louder maybe they will waive the fees haha.. Joker doctor..
I didn't have a good night there though as the bed beside me kept pumping milk and we all know how noisy medela pumps are..though but much better as this time baby is in my room the whole time as I think that the nurses are too busy.. Though i appreciate that i can keep baby in room but i dont appreciate that they didnt come by often as i had ALOT of questions but unable to ask.
Went home finally with a baby boy and have been single hand handling him till now at 3months+ with no help including his baths and I'm proud of myself being strong for the kids and made it so far..
her sweet memory was written @ 1:39 PM
